Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all my friends and future friends! I hope 2016 will be your best year ever! Big hugs!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi Everyone!  Hope you all have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving, and that you get to share it with people you love!

To Dani, From Sophie

. Dear Dani~ . You’re forgiven. . . . . . Dear Sofe~ . Wow, thanks. It only took 10 days. Can you tell me what I did wrong? Or what I did right? After whatever I did wrong?

Big Shock! Sophie’s Mad At Me…Again!

The 3 hardest things in the world to predict: . 1. Jury decisions. 2. What aging rock stars will sleep with. 3. How the woman you love will react to your most innocent action or comment. Only a woman can feed the rose blossoms of your heart through the meat grinder of her brain and […]

How Come? (Featuring Dani and Sophie)

. How come every time you see something advertised for free on TV they can’t just say it’s free? They always have to say it’s ABSOLUTELY free!                                                           […]

As Your President #3

. I’ll Eliminate the Census!  . You know how every 10 years the government pays thousands of people millions of dollars to count how many people are in the U.S.? And the next year they’ll announce–within 1/1000th of 1% how many people responded to the Census? Well, if they know how many people DIDN’T respond, it proves […]

As Your President #2

. State of the Onion!  . You know that speech I’ll have to give every year? The State of the Union? Well, mine will be called the State of the Onion. And I won’t interrupt your favorite TV shows for it. And it will be short and sweet. You know that guy, the House Sergeant, who’ll […]

As Your President #1

. I will eliminate the position of Vice President! . We don’t need a president of vice. We’ve already got the Senate and Congress! My running mate’s position will be Enforcer! I’ll  ask Donovan Creed first, and Callie Carpenter second. These guys will make sure bills get passed and rules are enforced. Or maybe Creed AND Carpenter, yes? […]

Dani For President!

Campaign Promise #5:  If elected, I promise never to appear on late-night talk shows trying to be funny!

Dani For President!

Campaign Promise #4:   If elected, I promise to build a giant wall between Congress and the United States Treasury!